some contenders for ATLA’s sauciest MILF

nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice:

Haru’s mom 

Pros

- small business owner 

- takes no shit 

- silver fox look going on 

- Cheekbones™ 

-  could probably ride an ostrich horse

Cons

- let Haru grow that mustache 

- does she have a name? Who knows? 

- discouraged fighting cops 

- didn’t let Haru earthbend (which valid) but was cool with the avatar, two water tribe kids, and a ten ton flying bison crashing in her barn. One of those things is definitely going to draw some attention from those fire nation soldiers you’re trying to avoid. Pick a lane, lady. 

Poppy Beifong 

Pros 

- loaded 

- would provide food 

- Toph actually missed her when she ran away so she’s semi-Toph approved 

- her hair….it’s so big

- not only has a first name, but a last name too 

- objectively very pretty 

Cons 

- ableist 

- was apparently fine with letting Lao set bounty hunters after Toph 

- probably supports cops 

- if ATLA were to have a Real Housewives, this lady would be the star 

- okay what was up with the Beifongs just sitting in a makeshift throne room? You’re rich, not royalty. Get over yourselves. 

- definitely cannot ride an ostrich horse 

Sela 

Pros

- said ACAB

- objectively a Whole Cutie 

- perfected the messy bun Look™ 

- protective af 

- I know it was unfair for her to tell Zuko to leave after he fought the earthbenders, but can we appreciate how this woman, who’s family and country have been in danger from the fire nation for her entire life, watches Zuko go absolutely feral swinging swords and throwing flames, steps in front of her kid and goes “nope, not a step closer”. Fucking fearless. 

- can  probably ride an ostrich horse 

Cons

- kid was a shit-stirrer 

- can’t fight cops 

Ursa

Pros

- Zuko-approved 

- down with regicide 

- an objective hottie 

- actual royalty 

- likes turtleducks 

- theater nerd

Cons

- theater nerd 

- whether or not you think Ursa treated Azula right, the objective fact is that Ursa left Azula with the impression that she thought Azula was a heartless monster and that impression left a lasting psychological impact 

- oh boy we are not going to get into the comics…but yikes 

Kya 

Pros 

- sacrificed herself to save Katara 

- lead the Fire Nation to believe that there were no more waterbenders in the Southern Water Tribe, not only allowing her daughter to live then but ensuring the safety of her village and her children for after she was gone 

- snagged Hakoda (ATLA’s Spiciest DILF) 

- There’s strong evidence that she was, in fact, the chief of the Southern Water Tribe. Get it queen. 

- has probably never seen an ostrich horse but I would bet money that Kya put everyone else to shame with ice dodging 

- knockout gorgeous 

Cons

- idk how saucy one can be considered when they’re dead